theming buttons in a user control

[Elliott]

I am trying to set an entire WinForms app with Desert theme
I have a group of buttons in a user control which is used in two different forms
both forms are RadForms and both are set to Desert as part of the constructor

Public Sub New()
    ' This call is required by the designer.
    InitializeComponent()
    Dim myTheme As New DesertTheme()
    ThemeResolutionService.ApplicationThemeName = "Desert"
End Sub

one form has ochre buttons with that gradient I like - and the other form has that ugly grey which is Microsoft control
why is this?

I figured out why - after leaving a dent in my desk after trying EVERYTHING I could think of
the user control starts out not Enabled - when it is Enabled it gets the nice gradient