Hi Paul Brun,
I suppose you have read the following blogpost http://blogs.telerik.com/silverlightteam/posts/11-01-12/treeview-bringintoview.aspx , but in case you didn't I think it worths to give it a look.
Regarding to the points you have described I would like to ask you few questions:
1) Are you using SingleExpandPath property? If you are, this could be causing the issue. Try to remove it.
2) Are you using Animations? If you are, this may bring the wrong item into view.
3) Have you tried using the Recycling virtualization mode?
If the issue persists, I would like to ask you to isolate it in simple test application so we could investigate it in detail.
the Telerik team
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